A Special Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Posted on January 16, 2012 by elizabethlombino

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Today is a beautiful day for many reasons. It is the day we honor Martin Luther King Jr. and his unwavering spirit of love and inclusion. It is also the day after Peter Dinklage won the Golden Globe for Best Supporting TV Actor.

Yes, the two are related and here’s why.

Peter has achondroplasia, which means he is of shorter stature than most average people. He is commonly referred to as a dwarf. Some may even call him a munchkin or midget, yet those terms are only uttered by totally ignorant and disrespectful people. These are the same people that were involved in the attack on a fellow dwarf in the UK that Peter referenced in his acceptance speech. In his humble manner, Peter simply said: “I’m thinking of Martin Henderson.” After the telecast, when he was asked to elaborate, he only said “Google him”.

Thankfully many people did and now there is much greater awareness around the assault on Martin Henderson and the clear discrimination on people just like him and Peter Dinklage.

Martin Luther King Jr. paved the way for not only those people of color to receive the same respect and inclusion as those of paler skin. His fight for people of color was monumental and changed our cultural landscape. It also has inspired countless other groups of marginalized people to stand up and speak out against hate and discrimination. These are all civil rights. People of color, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender individuals (LGBT), and dwarfs, among many others. MLK gave everyone the hope that by speaking up, ignorance may be destroyed.

Peter Dinklage is also my first cousin. He has always been such a subtle soul with power behind his eyes. Always aware of his height limitations, he certainly never let them own him. He has been acting since I can remember and in one high school play he was the lead. In one scene, he dramatically jumped up on a table to command the stage and the room. This was powerful, yet not necessary since he already had command of the entire room. He just has that presence.

Today, as we remember Martin Luther King, Jr., I am so proud to know that my daughter can look at a picture of the president and not even flinch that his skin is a different color than hers is. This is so monumental.  We’ve come a long way since MLK first started the fight. We have a long way to go, especially when we look at the continued discrimination and bigotry among people like Peter Dinklage.

Martin Luther King, Jr. gave the hope to know that with continued awareness and strong voices, we will all overcome.

Filed under: Hope Notes, LGBTQ, Motherhood, Parenting, Social Media, Strengths Perspective | Leave a Comment »

2012: The Year Ahead, From the View of a 5 Year Old

Posted on January 2, 2012 by elizabethlombino

Our 5 year old daughter, Mia, can barely tell time. She can say it’s 2012 and have a vague idea of what that means, but really, she has no clue. Like most of us, really.

So what does 2012 have in store for us? If Mia were to help me write this post, I’m sure it would read something like this… (and for my sarcastic, wise ass friends, insert joke here: something like “by the way you write, I thought she wrote all your posts”. Ha, good one).

Her first declaration would be for our Christmas tree to stay up for 387 more days. She has said with sweet generosity, “Santa can come back again if he wants to. I have more cookies.”

It will snow. It has to snow. No, seriously, it has to, because according to Mia, winter does not exist without snow. I blame Dora, Olivia and all those other annoying cartoons for portraying all the stereotypical, specific details of every season. Even this morning, she declared, “It’s cold and windy!!! Maybe it will snow!!!” Come on, Mother Nature, deliver some snow, or I’ll be left to come up with yet another excuse as to why the earth isn’t white.

2012 will include way too many sighs, teeth snapping, eye rolls and over use of the word “duh”. I ask Mia the simplest question and I’m showered with tons of these gestures and odd noises. Occasionally she’ll throw in a hearty hair flip, hand on hip, and/or toe pivot for emphasis. I’m convinced everyone age 3 through 63 is a tween, which means we will all be communicating this way from now on. Shall I try out these tactics with my boss and see what happens? Boss: “Elizabeth, do you have that report that’s due today?” Me: (hearty sigh, eye roll, and powerful stance with hands on hips) “Duh, it’s printing right now.” (Hair flip with graceful, yet firm toe pivot out of her office).

Mia will NOT smell like Justin Beiber. Thank you, oh God of Justin-Beiber-repellent! Anything Justin Beiber related is totally despised by our little one. So many of her friends are already obsessed with the Tiger Beat covers and listening to radio versions of his songs on over-recorded cassettes that were meticulously timed to start and end without any commercials at all with the WHOLE song … oh wait, I just lapsed back to 1987 for a sec. But seriously. Too many 5 year olds are already way fanatical with all things Beiber and I am proud to say my daughter is not one of them. A tear just dropped on my keyboard *sniff*.

There will be a resurgence of the alternative, grunge rock music from the 1990s. Mia will be stuck in the 90s, just like her parents. Rich plays guitar and any song circa 1991. Mia has been digging these songs too. Of course, it could be that she’s just heard them all way too much and has just made the decision to learn to love them so as to not be tortured with their endless repetition. We choose to believe that she is a true fan. Hey, she can even make the Weezer sign with her hands. =W=. She loves to sing and anything and everything becomes a microphone. I will not be singing because when I do, Mia says flatly, “Mommy don’t sing. I get a headache.”  She also plays drums, and she’s learning to shred on her Barbie guitar. Rich has been waiting for the next music revolution; perhaps this is a sign of what’s to come.

Not sure if the world will end, however, I am certain that there will be plenty more philosophical discussions with my little Socrates. When we watch Wall-E, anything planet and space related, or really anything at all, the questions come pouring out of her. Her favorite question is “where were we before we were here?” Okay, yes, she could simply be making the point that we were in the kitchen before we were in the den watching the show. I am aware that she’s 5 and it could be this basic. Yet, there is an existential tone to all her inquiries. She may know for sure if the world is going to end. Future posts to come on her predictions …

Okay so there are my random thoughts on 2012 as influenced by my lovely 5 year old. Now off to have another cup of coffee to keep me awake and sane to be ready for all of this. That’s one of my clear predictions: 2012 will include an endless cup of coffee. Here’s to a fun-filled, prosperous, silly, hopeful New Year!

Filed under: Just for Laughs, Motherhood, Parenting, Self-Care, Working Mom | 1 Comment »

Thanks for the Guilt, Online Moms (So-Called) Support Community

Posted on October 30, 2011 by elizabethlombino

It’s no secret that my husband and I have decided to have one child. I have written about this topic and have shared my thoughts openly. We are proud of our decision. Yet, as I’ve discussed, those around us seem to be more uncomfortable with our decision than we are.

I have found solace and wide support among the many moms and dads I have met through social media outlets. Many have their own unique family dynamic and we share our stories. We don’t judge, we share and connect in an amazing way. The support of my fellow moms is priceless.

That is until I opened my email this morning. I’m on a few email lists related to all things mommyhood. For the most part, they provide useful tips and some much needed laughter. However, the email alert I got this morning just pissed me off. The tag line read “Why you should not decide to have an only child.” Really? Really. One view of my inbox and I am faced with a guilt-ridden message telling me how horrible I am as a mother for my decision to have an only child.

Ok, I didn’t take it that hard. I’m not so shallow to let a silly email affect me (yet here I am writing this piece). It’s just another reminder that while my husband and I are content with our parenting decision, the world around us just can’t let it go. Our culture can be so incredibly judgmental towards parents. It’s annoying and exhausting. That’s one of the main reasons I have gotten so involved with moms groups within social media. I have found moms and dads around the world who are fun, imperfect, beautiful, open, supportive, and just plain real. I know I am not alone.

So to read this tag line just made me feel deflated. The article itself was decent — full of moms sharing their decisions to have one child or to add more children. The comments were actually even better. Plenty of moms shared my disappointment and pointed out the bias of the article.

One of the best points, that was brought out a few times within the comments, is the assumption that parents have the choice of how many children they have. There are so many factors that could influence this — secondary infertility, PPD, and other health issues. Not to mention finances, lifestyle, and other factors. Those who do have the choice to expand their family may have a very difficult time making that choice. Many more families do not have any choice at all.  The article acts as if we all have the luxury of choosing.

When we are able to make a choice, it’s important for us to have all the information. Articles like this provide several viewpoints and opinions. Of course it is helpful to hear all sides of a story from real moms and dads. This is the beauty of on-line parenting resources. However, the guilt-ridden language just reinforces the judgments and unrealistic expectations that all of us parents face each day. So unnecessary.

Related Articles

We’re Still Having Only One Child

The Constant Search for Parenting Perfection

Thank You Social Media: Moms Addition

More Mom Opinions … Will it Ever End??

Filed under: Hope Notes, Just for Laughs, Motherhood, Parenting, PerinatalMoodDisorders, Self-Care, Working Mom | 1 Comment »

Ode to September

Posted on September 2, 2011 by elizabethlombino

September is a month of meaning for me. Some of the most amazing and most heartbreaking moments of my life happened during this month.

Amazing ~ My husband and I got married on September 6. Such a magical day.

Heartbreaking ~ Anniversary of September 11. We were living in NYC at the time and while we were not directly involved (thank goodness), we felt the effects. We could see the smoke from the towers, we could smell the fumes, and we saw the armed guards surrounding subway stations for months after.

Amazing ~ Our beautiful daughter Mia was born on September 22.

Heartbreaking ~ Onset of my severe PostPartum Depression occurred the moment I gave birth.

Amazing ~ My husband’s birthday is September 10.

Amazing ~ Mia is now school age, so every September means back to school time for her.

While September is a powerful month for me, I have always viewed it as an opportunity to start fresh. September means going back to school, one of my favorite times of the year. An opportunity to learn new things, explore the world, and create new meaning.

September is a metaphor for life. There will always be ups and downs; incredible times and distressing moments. This is life. Full of both polar opposite feelings at any given instant.  My personal goal is to have many more periods of joy than sadness, and that is what I strive for everyday.  It also helps me realize that it’s up to me to find balance within it all.  Care for myself to get through the tough times and better enjoy the celebrations.

September is full of hope. The realization that for every moment of sadness, there is an amazing moment of happiness right around the corner.

I remember our wedding day vividly. We decided to get married on the beach. For many people, early September means the end of beach days; for me it means some of the most marvelous moments on the beach. The waves are churning, the sky is a deep blue, and the air is cool. When we got married, a hurricane had passed by just days before our big day. There wasn’t much damage, yet the ocean clearly felt the impact. The result was the most remarkable surf. During our ceremony the waves were fierce and crashing to the shore. It provided an incredible soundtrack to our ceremony.

When I think of September, I think of those waves. Equal parts beauty and intensity. Opportunity for a fresh start with every new wave.

September’s birth stone is the sapphire. I have a few pieces of jewelry with this striking stone.  They represent our wedding day, my husband’s birthday and our daughter’s birthday. They also represent those waves. The deep, translucent blue of the powerful ocean. When I look at them, I feel an instant calm. I am reminded of all the beauty in my life. I’m reminded that amid the chaos of the crashing waves, there is intense beauty and peace. Hope that behind every wave there is fresh, calm, beautiful blue water.

Power, beauty and hope. My ode to September.

Filed under: Health, Hope Notes, Motherhood, PerinatalMoodDisorders, Self-Care, Strengths Perspective, Stress Reduction | 1 Comment »

Next Page »
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.