Growing up, I did not have the best father. He was absent physically and emotionally, and when he was present, he did not know how to be a supportive, loving father. I often wished for a “real” dad. Thankfully, as I grew older, I was blessed with two great dads, my step-father (who I refer to as my dad) and my father-in-law. Through them, I was able to see just how wonderful it is to have a father who is supportive, strong, caring and giving.
I had a better understanding now what it means to have a real dad. Then my husband Rich and I had our daughter Mia. I saw even more clearly what it means to be a real dad. Instantly, I saw just how amazing he was with her. I was seeing a true father being a wonderful, compassionate, sensitive parent to our daughter. Mia absolutely glows when she is around her Daddy. She loves to do so many things with him, including rocking out to music, playing guitars, watching sports (Yankees, of course), and just playing and being silly. And Rich melts around her. He is already a very caring, loving man, and when he is with her, he becomes even more present and warm.
Father’s Day has always been a difficult holiday for me. It has gotten easier to deal with since becoming an adult and having two wonderful Dads in my life to celebrate. And now that Rich is a father, it is now one of my favorite holidays. She loves to celebrate “Daddy’s Day” and do all things with Daddy this day and every day. I will never have a true relationship with the man who raised me. I have accepted that and taken comfort in the relationships with the two new fathers in my life. I am also completely overjoyed that my daughter has the most amazing father in her life. She will grow up knowing that she has a wonderful, supportive father ensuring she is as happy as she can be. Father’s Day is a celebration of that for all of us.
Filed under: Hope Notes, Motherhood, Parenting
That’s really nice Betsy. I have step parents whom I consider parents also. You are very lucky to be able to bring Mia up in the family you wished you could have grown up with. Your real father sounds very much like my husband. He left in February and hardly sees his children. They do have my two dads as role models though and maybe one day will grow to love a step father who treats them well.
Jen
Wow, Jen, thanks for your comments and for sharing your story. There is plenty of hope out there.
Fantastic blog. From the heart. I feel exactly the same way. Isn’t it refreshing? Thank God for the Dads in our lives!!! They have shown us what real fathers are! I love you!
Thanks, Mer! I thought you would like this.
[...] Two years ago, I wrote a piece about my thoughts on Father’s Day entitled, Father’s Day Redefined. [...]