On World AIDS Day, Help Bring Celebrities Back to Life … on the Internet

Posted on November 30, 2010 by elizabethlombino

Post originally published on Change.org

On World AIDS Day, Help Bring Celebrities Back to Life … on the Internet

December 1 is World AIDS Day. It is a day to show your support in this important fight. It is a day to celebrate the lives of those who are living with HIV and those whose lives were lost to this devastating disease. It is a day to wear red and to display your red AIDS ribbon proudly.

This year, interestingly, it will also be a day to resurrect the life of your favorite celebrity … in the digital world. Tomorrow, a growing list of celebrities will sacrifice their lives as they’re displayed shamelessly on Twitter, Facebook and others. Kim Kardashian, Usher, Jennifer Hudson, Ryan Seacrest, Justin Timberlake, and Lady Gaga will halt their use of these social media tools in the name of AIDS awareness. Their online activity will not resume until their fans donate $1 million toward AIDS research.

No tweets, no status updates, nothing. It’s going to be a quiet day around the cyber universe, unless their fan base reaches into their wallets to save them.

We can thank Alicia Keys for this innovative and really cool idea to combine celebrity, social media, fund raising, and AIDS awareness.  It is the latest fund-raising venture for her charity, Keep a Child Alive, which provides funding for medical care and other supportive services for children and families affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa and India.

This celebrity cyber-death campaign, called Buy Life, uses scan-able bar codes on T-Shirts and other goodies that once scanned by a downloadable smartphone app, the user automatically donates money to Keep a Child Alive. So simple, so effective. And with the threat of the looming, permanent cyber death of dozens of celebrities, this venture enters a whole new level of awesome.

Alicia Keys is aware of the American tradition of treating celebrities like commodities. She is not naive to this fact; and now she is clearly using this as a way to literally get fans to “buy” the lives of the celebrities they love. She is taking a bold and savvy move to tie in the crazy reality of celebrity with technology to do some good in the world.

“It’s really exciting. No foundation has used the technology before like we are,” Alicia Keys said of this venture.

Alicia Keys is my new hero.

Of course her campaign is not perfect. The focus of her charity work is primarily for those individuals affected by HIV and AIDS in Africa and India. While this is certainly a crisis that is in need of strong support, there is also a similar crisis going on here in some parts of America. In Washington, D.C., the HIV/AIDS epidemic is beyond out of control.  Those living with the disease are dying at higher rates, mostly due to the same factors as in India and Africa — lack of housing, inadequate medical care, poor nutrition, etc. In addition, the HIV virus is spreading at alarming rates, surpassing those infection rates found in Sub-Saharan Africa.

We could use the benefits of Alicia Keys’ amazing AIDS awareness campaign right here in America. So please, join me in thanking Alicia Keys for this amazing idea, and urge her to take this campaign and make it truly global.

And if you want to get back to following the many tweets of Lady Gaga and Ryan Seacrest, it looks like you’ll have to buy their life back. It’s for a great cause, after all.

To read the post on Change.org, click here.

Filed under: HIV/AIDS, Social Media | Leave a Comment »

Thanksgiving 2.0: Food, Poverty, and Telling the Truth

Posted on November 29, 2010 by elizabethlombino

Post originally published on Change.org

Thanksgiving 2.0: Food, Poverty, and Telling the Truth

This Thanksgiving, most of us around the country shared a bountiful harvest feast with friends and family. We celebrated all that we are thankful for by gorging ourselves right into a food coma. It’s the American way. Unfortunately, it’s also the American way to be thankful for all that we have while not always acknowledging those around us who are without. It’s also the American way to not fully understand the real truth about Thanksgiving.

In his brilliant book A People’s History of the United States, the late Howard Zinn noted that we need to question “the excuse of progress in the annihilation of races, and the telling of history from the standpoint of the conquerors and leaders of Western civilization.”  In his provocative and necessary book Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong, author James W. Loewen finds that the “true history of Thanksgiving reveals embarrassing facts. The Pilgrims did not introduce the tradition; [Native Americans] had observed autumnal harvest celebrations for centuries … During the Civil War, when the Union needed all the patriotism that such an observance might muster, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving a national holiday. The Pilgrims had nothing to do with it; not until the 1890s did they even get included in the tradition.”  Moreover, he notes that all foods typically included in Thanksgiving meals “are exclusively indigenous to the Americas and had been provided by the local tribe. This notion that ‘we’ advanced peoples provided for the [Native Americans is] exactly the converse of the truth….”

The genocide and abject poverty that our Nation’s early settlers, founders and subsequent leaders bestowed upon the millions of Native Americans cannot be forgotten, and must be included in any sane and complete description of our history. President Obama has woven pieces of this history into his annual Thanksgiving Proclamations. In 2009, President Obama said, “[w]e also recognize the contributions of Native Americans, who helped the early colonists survive their first harsh winter and continue to strengthen our Nation.” This year’s Proclamation stated “[t]his spirit brought together the newly arrived Pilgrims and the Wampanoag tribe — who had been living and thriving around Plymouth, Massachusetts for thousands of years — in an autumn harvest feast centuries ago.  This Thanksgiving Day, we reflect on the compassion and contributions of Native Americans, whose skill in agriculture helped the early colonists survive, and whose rich culture continues to add to our Nation’s heritage.” These two statements are thoughtful and powerful, yet more can be done to tell the whole story.

In these times when so many millions of Americans are suffering in poverty, we need to do more to support each other. We all need to join the fight in combating poverty and homelessness.  This is not communism or even socialism, it’s Americanism. The President included in his 2009 Proclamation that “[a]s we gather once again among loved ones, let us also reach out to our neighbors and fellow citizens in need of a helping hand.” In his 2010 Proclamation, he stated “[t]his harvest season, we are also reminded of those experiencing the pangs of hunger or the hardship of economic insecurity.  Let us return the kindness and generosity we have seen throughout the year by helping our fellow citizens weather the storms of our day.” Let us all do our part to live up to this.

Join us in urging President Obama to tell the entire truth about Thanksgiving, and to continue to ask all Americans to do our part in helping our neighbors throughout the entire year.

To read the post on Change.org, click here.

Filed under: Change.org, Poverty | Leave a Comment »

Thank You, “Sex and the City”!

Posted on November 26, 2010 by elizabethlombino

Recently, I watched Sex and The City 2. Yeah, I know, I’m a bit behind. I have a four year-old after all. So while the movie itself was a little more than disappointing, there was one scene that provoked this blog post. Charlotte and Miranda share a drink together and also their honest feelings about being a mom. It is touching and a little more realistic than the rest of the movie.

For this, I have to say a giant Thank You to Sex and The City.

Motherhood and parenting have always been filled with stereotypes and insane expectations that leave many women (and men) feeling utterly alone and overwhelmed with their confusing emotions. Society tells us to put on a smile and act like being a mother is the most amazing and rewarding experience in the world. In the face of stress, we are supposed to shake it off and continue frosting the 428 cupcakes needed for our daughter’s bake sale. The benefits outweigh the struggles. These are the scenarios and feelings of Charlotte early on in the movie. While of course, the benefits are amazing beyond words, there are still moments of undeniable stress and anxiety. Many of us find ourselves, like Charlotte, locked in the closet crying.

There are these unwritten and unobtainable expectations of being a parent that mess with us everyday. Where do they come from? Why do we listen to them?  As a mother, we pray for a healthy child and most of us get that prayer answered. Yet, beyond that, it’s a total gamble. Each child has a personality that no one can predict. Charlotte has a daughter who cries constantly. Our daughter, Mia, was a baby who cried most of the time. She was intense, had stomach issues, and had a very hard time soothing herself to sleep. Some nights we would put her in her crib and it would be a good 30 minutes of ear splitting screaming crying before she would just pass out from exhaustion. Those were some of the longest 30 minutes of my entire life. No one prepared me for that. No one could prepare me for that since how is anyone to know what personality traits your child will have?

Further, you never know the parent you will be. I’m certain that other parents would have handled Mia and her crying in different ways than we did. Some may have felt less stress and anxiety, some maybe even more. Given the personality of the child and the personality of the parent (s), there are potentially dozens of scenarios that could play out.  All the factors together can be a harmonic symphony, an utter mess or something in between. It’s all about the chemistry of the mix and no one can predict what that will be. Boy how I wish someone told me this when I was pregnant with Mia. Looking back, it all seems so clear.

So many moms and parents are just like Charlotte, believing that if they say how they feel they are somehow saying they are a bad parent. I’ve been there. There are countless reasons for the pressures we put on ourselves as mothers. And there are many more reasons why we need to be aware of these pressures and find great outlets to release the tension.

When Miranda and Charlotte finally sit down and get honest, it’s a very touching moment. They acknowledge the impossible expectations and embrace their strong feelings of failure and lack of fulfillment. They cry and laugh and realize that it’s okay to say that they love their children and that, at the same time, these beautiful children are driving them nuts. One of the best moments is when Charlotte acknowledges that she has a full-time nanny and says to Miranda, “How do all the women without help do it?” And Miranda, who also has full-time help, says, “I have no fucking idea”. Then they raise their glasses and make a toast “To them”.

Now I realize this is a movie, and they are playing very wealthy New Yorkers. This is so not the reality of the millions of other parents in the world. Yet what makes this scene important is that regardless of who we are as mothers, we all have thoughts and feelings similar to these at some point during our parenting. Sex and The City brings these fears and feelings to light in a humorous and refreshingly honest way. Countless women and parents are fans of the show and flock to the movies. This is amazing exposure for an often hidden reality.

So thank you, Sex and The City, from a fellow mother who understands what it is like to feel overwhelmed and out of control. Who also understands how important it is to share these feelings with other supportive parents who can help us laugh.

Filed under: Hope Notes, Just for Laughs, Motherhood, Parenting, PerinatalMoodDisorders, Self-Care, Stress Reduction | Leave a Comment »

December 1 is World AIDS Day: Let’s Tell Obama to Do More in This Fight

Posted on November 24, 2010 by elizabethlombino

Post originally published on Change.org

December 1 is World AIDS Day: Let’s Tell Obama to Do More in This Fight

December 1 is World AIDS Day. As of this year, we will be 29 years into this epidemic.

Throughout the tumultuous history of HIV, advocates and survivors have broken the silence on this deadly virus and have fought for services and compassion.  Today, most people living with HIV have full, healthy and vibrant lives. At the same time, HIV continues to spread and for many people, this virus can become out of control. There is still a lot of work to be done.

Back in July, President Obama unveiled his new national strategy to curb the spread of HIV/AIDS. In the report, the Obama Administration outlines measures to reduce the spread of HIV by 25% in the next five years. Other goals include increasing access to medical services and combating stigma and discrimination.  This is an ambitious plan and the first of its kind by any president during the course of the epidemic. This has created an overwhelming sense of inspiration and hope.

Yet even in the face of this hope, there is also a sense of deflation with regard to whether this plan can and will be effectively enforced. In an article written by Myles Helfand, the Editorial Director at thebody.com, the frustration felt within the AIDS community was brought to light. Helfand writes, “HIV/AIDS advocacy has felt stagnant to many within the community for a long time now …” Of the National HIV/AIDS Strategy, he goes on to say that “most in the HIV/AIDS community can agree that Obama’s delivery has largely been in words rather than dollars. The next two years, of course, will be critical. We have a national HIV/AIDS strategy, but it has yet to be implemented — and doing so will take a tremendous amount of money during a time when political pressure will likely squeeze health budgets rather than expand them.”

This statement has been echoed among HIV policy advocates and service providers. With existing funding streams, it is virtually impossible for many agencies to function as they are, let alone add new programs and services. HIV is an aggressive virus, HIV/AIDS is an aggressive disease — we need to combat these forces with even more aggressive measures. The National HIV/AIDS Strategy discusses these measures, yet without additional funding, the words become just noise.

Over on changeAIDSobama.org, there is further discussion of this funding issue. They outline the criticisms of the plan and of the Obama Administration’s handling of HIV/AIDS to date.  They assert that in 2010, the Obama Administration spent $102 billion on the war in Afghanistan, yet spent only $6.5 billion in the war on AIDS, globally.

Money is lacking everywhere, yet with a strong focus on prevention and early intervention a ton of money can be saved in the long run. Often the powers that be have a myopic view of serious diseases. There aren’t strong efforts until there are devastating consequences. Disease control becomes REactive rather than PROactive. This is exactly what happened in the early years of this epidemic. Not until thousands of people died and countless more became infected did politicians and research and medical communities take notice. By then, it was too late for far too many people.

Twenty-nine years later, there are effective medications and stronger prevention efforts. That is the good news. The bad news is that HIV/AIDS is still a very serious disease that can still be life threatening without proper support and intervention. For a variety of reasons, HIV continues to spread. Fears continue to spread. We need real action from top politicians. Everyone who lives with HIV deserves to live a healthy life, not just those who can afford top care. HIV is at risk of spreading at even more alarming and devastating rates if this epidemic goes back into silence.

On this World AIDS Day, let your voice be heard. Tell Obama to increase his efforts in the important fight against HIV/AIDS.

To read the post on Change.org, click here.

Filed under: Change.org, HIV/AIDS, LGBTQ, Poverty, Social Media | Leave a Comment »

UNCENSORED Piece on Child Victims of Domestic Violence

Posted on November 22, 2010 by elizabethlombino

We have the honor of having a piece published in UNCENSORED, American Family Experiences with Poverty and Homelessness, a magazine published by The Institute for Children, Poverty and Homelessness.   The entire article and issue can be viewed in PDF format by clicking here. We are featured on pages 29-30. Here is an excerpt from the piece:

Kids are Left Behind: Homeless and Victims of Domestic Violence in New York City


Imagine a seven-year-old girl named Crystal. She has dark brown hair and brown eyes. She’s wearing jeans that are too big on her and a boy’s t-shirt. Crystal is trying to read a book in the dim light on her bed in her family’s room in a homeless shelter. Her mother is exhausted and asleep after more than a full day at work. Just last week, they were living in their own apartment with her father. Since losing his job a year ago, her father started sitting around the apartment all day and drinking heavily. He also became verbally and physically abusive to her mom, who was trying to keep the family afloat with the little that she made at her own job. But as tensions increased and her father became more violent, Crystal’s mom made the difficult decision to leave in order to protect herself and her daughter. Crystal misses her father, but she also hates when he gets mad and yells at her mom. The walls of their shelter room are thin and Crystal can hear the family next door. There’s a man yelling at his wife. He’s using profanity and starting to throw things. Crystal hears a loud crash against the wall they share. She’s scared and drops her book on the floor.

The life of Crystal is an all-too-common scenario for many children who have lived with domestic violence (DV). According to the National Coalition for the Homeless, a majority of homeless women are victims of DV. Citing the U.S. Conference of Mayors, they also report that 28% of families are homeless due to DV and 39% of cities asserted that DV is the main cause of family homelessness. Many parents face the almost impossible decision of staying in a violent home or taking steps to flee for their safety. In these difficult economic times, even many of those mothers who are working are left with too few resources to make the courageous step to leave. The National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) views this as a major crisis situation. NNEDV President Sue Else states, “Job losses, the lack of affordable health care, the housing crisis… are increasing abuse and leaving survivors with fewer options to escape.”

For every woman who enters a DV shelter, there are countless others who do not. Reasons for not entering shelter include fear of being found by an abuser, lack of support from family and friends, failed attempts to report the abuse to law enforcement, and lack of insight into the abuse they are suffering. In many communities, there is a plethora of misinformation about what it means to be in a DV relationship. Some women experienced abuse in their own homes at the hands of their parents and grow up believing this is normal. There is stigma and fear of reporting abuse as doing so could lead to further abuse and isolation.

Some women who are victims of DV have the courage and ability to leave their abusive environment and enter DV shelters. Safe Horizon is the largest victims’ service organizationin New York City, and the country, with 425 beds throughout the city. Safe Horizon provides emergency shelter to an average of 3,100 children and families each year. In addition to these crisis services, transitional housing is available to assist women and their children. Other services include child care, mental health counseling, job readiness training, housing assistance, medical aid, as well as life skills and parenting classes.

However, even with organizations like Safe Horizon out there, many families who have experienced DV are ending up in the general homeless shelter system. But why? Maybe there aren’t enough DV beds available or the services aren’t coordinated enough to meet the needs of these families so they are falling behind. Because of this, the traditional homeless shelter system needs to have extensive DV advocates in place to better assess and provide referrals for DV specific services. Once in the shelter system, victims need to be provided with support and advocacy to help bring their DV to light and assist them in breaking the cycle of violence. As discussed earlier, many women do not initially identify as victims of DV. With on-going mental health support, information, and education on what it means to be in a DV relationship, and peer support, these women may gain the courage to disclose their experiences. With this realization and disclosure, advocates can then provide more focused DV services for the entire family.

All of this turmoil creates uncertainty in the lives of the children who are affected. According to the National Center for Homeless Education (NCHE) at SERVE, children who are victims of a violent home and face homelessness suffer an endless list of potential issues, including emotional and behavioral problems, violent behavior toward peers, adjustment issues, placing blame on themselves for the abuse, inability to concentrate and retain information, poor nutrition, inadequate sleep patterns, and severe emotional distress. These are only a few areas of concern for the child who experiences DV. As a child grows older and has to navigate the world in new ways, many more issues will surface. These children may begin to imitate some of the abusive behaviors in their own relationships or take on the role of the victim. The cycle of violence is in danger of continuing on from generation to generation without adequate intervention.

Often DV specific shelters are focused primarily on providing services to the women involved. This is critical in helping women develop the skills and confidence to succeed outside of their dangerous relationships. Some DV shelters may have supportive services for children, but it is vital that these children also continue to receive supportive services in their schools, so the negative effects of the abuse have minimal affect on their development.

To read the entire article (pgs 29-30) and view the whole issue in PDF format, please click here.

Filed under: Homelessness, IntimatePartnerViolence, Social Media | Leave a Comment »

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