Elizabeth Lombino

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending ~ Maria Robinson

I found this quote recently and it completely resonated with me. This speaks volumes about who we are as individuals. We have no control over our past, yet it is up to us to take control of our present and future. Beautiful.

For me, my past is tumultuous. I’m very candid about the issues I’ve experienced in my recent past (Postpartum Depression), but not of my distant past. Maybe one day I will write more about those early experiences, but for now, I’m not ready to go there. What is most important to me is that there were some significant events and issues that have forever impacted who I am today.

And this is the point. While I may have experienced some significant struggles, traumas, and issues, without them, I would not be who I am.

I cannot change my past. I cannot go back and choose a different path. I do not have control of my past. But I have control of my present and future. I can take some of the control back and write a different script. It is up to me.

My past has made me stronger. I am convinced that if it were not for my past, I would not be a Social Worker and I would not be the person I am today. In my mind, I know that if I can survive my past, I can handle anything that comes my way in my future. This was clear with my experience with Postpartum Depression. Even though I was not fully prepared for the sheer force of despair and anxiety that is Postpartum Depression, I am not at all surprised that I had this type of response after the birth of our daughter. In fact, my husband and I had plenty of conversations during my pregnancy about the threat of PPD that I felt. Professionally, I was aware of the incidence of PPD, so just by the numbers and research, I was preparing myself. Yet, given my past and my propensity to anxiety and depression, it made sense for me to be thinking in these terms. And I’m glad I did. I had a pretty severe case of PPD, but I can’t help but wonder if my PPD may have been even worse had I not been aware and ready.

It’s all about strength and resilience. These are such powerful forces that allow us to overcome trauma and hardship. Thankfully my inner strength and strong support system helped me to better treat my PPD. This very strength and resilience is what has allowed me to be who I am today.

In my work, I see strength and resilience in my clients as well. Some of the stories I hear are so heartbreaking and unimaginable. Yet somehow they survive. Somehow they have made it to where they are today. Of course, many have had many more hardships and many may have made some not-so-ideal decisions. Yet, given their past, it makes sense that they would not know how to make the best decisions for themselves. It is their inner strength that keeps them going and allows them to survive and overcome the hardships. It is their inner strength that gives them the courage to make a better future for themselves.

My past is my past. I choose to work through my past and not allow it to infect me today. My present and my future are mine. It is up to me. My past made me stronger, made me more insistent on creating a better future. I am stronger.

That which does not kill us makes us stronger ~ Friedrich Nietzsche 

Filed under: Hope Notes, Mental Illness, Motherhood, Parenting, PerinatalMoodDisorders, Self-Care, Strengths Perspective