Our 5 year old daughter, Mia, can barely tell time. She can say it’s 2012 and have a vague idea of what that means, but really, she has no clue. Like most of us, really.
So what does 2012 have in store for us? If Mia were to help me write this post, I’m sure it would read something like this… (and for my sarcastic, wise ass friends, insert joke here: something like “by the way you write, I thought she wrote all your posts”. Ha, good one).
Her first declaration would be for our Christmas tree to stay up for 387 more days. She has said with sweet generosity, “Santa can come back again if he wants to. I have more cookies.”
It will snow. It has to snow. No, seriously, it has to, because according to Mia, winter does not exist without snow. I blame Dora, Olivia and all those other annoying cartoons for portraying all the stereotypical, specific details of every season. Even this morning, she declared, “It’s cold and windy!!! Maybe it will snow!!!” Come on, Mother Nature, deliver some snow, or I’ll be left to come up with yet another excuse as to why the earth isn’t white.
2012 will include way too many sighs, teeth snapping, eye rolls and over use of the word “duh”. I ask Mia the simplest question and I’m showered with tons of these gestures and odd noises. Occasionally she’ll throw in a hearty hair flip, hand on hip, and/or toe pivot for emphasis. I’m convinced everyone age 3 through 63 is a tween, which means we will all be communicating this way from now on. Shall I try out these tactics with my boss and see what happens? Boss: “Elizabeth, do you have that report that’s due today?” Me: (hearty sigh, eye roll, and powerful stance with hands on hips) “Duh, it’s printing right now.” (Hair flip with graceful, yet firm toe pivot out of her office).
Mia will NOT smell like Justin Beiber. Thank you, oh God of Justin-Beiber-repellent! Anything Justin Beiber related is totally despised by our little one. So many of her friends are already obsessed with the Tiger Beat covers and listening to radio versions of his songs on over-recorded cassettes that were meticulously timed to start and end without any commercials at all with the WHOLE song … oh wait, I just lapsed back to 1987 for a sec. But seriously. Too many 5 year olds are already way fanatical with all things Beiber and I am proud to say my daughter is not one of them. A tear just dropped on my keyboard *sniff*.
There will be a resurgence of the alternative, grunge rock music from the 1990s. Mia will be stuck in the 90s, just like her parents. Rich plays guitar and any song circa 1991. Mia has been digging these songs too. Of course, it could be that she’s just heard them all way too much and has just made the decision to learn to love them so as to not be tortured with their endless repetition. We choose to believe that she is a true fan. Hey, she can even make the Weezer sign with her hands. =W=. She loves to sing and anything and everything becomes a microphone. I will not be singing because when I do, Mia says flatly, “Mommy don’t sing. I get a headache.” She also plays drums, and she’s learning to shred on her Barbie guitar. Rich has been waiting for the next music revolution; perhaps this is a sign of what’s to come.
Not sure if the world will end, however, I am certain that there will be plenty more philosophical discussions with my little Socrates. When we watch Wall-E, anything planet and space related, or really anything at all, the questions come pouring out of her. Her favorite question is “where were we before we were here?” Okay, yes, she could simply be making the point that we were in the kitchen before we were in the den watching the show. I am aware that she’s 5 and it could be this basic. Yet, there is an existential tone to all her inquiries. She may know for sure if the world is going to end. Future posts to come on her predictions …
Okay so there are my random thoughts on 2012 as influenced by my lovely 5 year old. Now off to have another cup of coffee to keep me awake and sane to be ready for all of this. That’s one of my clear predictions: 2012 will include an endless cup of coffee. Here’s to a fun-filled, prosperous, silly, hopeful New Year!
Filed under: Just for Laughs, Motherhood, Parenting, Self-Care, Working Mom
E I laughed out loud at the Tiger Beat and the cassette recording references of old! U rock!