One and Done Happiness

A few days ago we had a play date with a new family. Mia and her new friend, a sweet little girl, played alongside the new girl’s 2 older brothers. We invited the new parents to stay with us and chat. We watched all of our children be children as we discussed parenting and enjoyed some snacks. There was a lot of noise in our house that afternoon. The hearty laughter and high energy that is 4 young children.

It was a great, and rather exhausting, afternoon.

As our new friends left, Mia practically collapsed on the couch. I was right behind her. We cuddled and discussed the day. I decided to take this opportunity to ask her how she felt being an only child. Even though we are incredibly content with our decision of being a One and Done family, I still like to check in with Mia about this every so often to see how she feels about the whole thing.

When I asked her if she wishes she had some brothers or sisters, she shook her head, said no, and paused for a moment. I waited in anticipation for the next words that were certain to flow from her mouth. What would she say? That in fact she does wish she had 2 brothers and 4 sisters? That she hates being an only child? That she loves being an only child? That she wants a cat?

Finally the anticipation was over. She simply said, “I’m hungry.”

Sometimes I’m brought back down to the level of six year old thinking. Oh how I wish every moment could be as uncomplicated and real as this one.

I got our lovely only a snack and sat with her some more. We were quiet for a little while as she munched on her apple slices. The calm quiet settled in our home.

Then Mia looked at me with love in her eyes. She said, “I’m glad it’s just me.” I kissed her forehead and said, “Me too.” She went back to her apples and I once again felt the effortless, pure love that is our sweet little family.

Life with a Pug

Sophie VestHumor is a big part of who I am. Humor is also a major component of our little family and how we parent. Rich and I have been laughing together and being silly for many years now. Our little girl Mia is even goofier than we are. No matter what obstacle we face, our humor gets us through.

Then along came Sophie the Pug.

None of us knew just how funny a Pug could be. Sophie takes our love of humor to a whole new level.

Here are some reasons why Sophie is full of personality. Pugs have big personality and Sophie is a true, pure Pug:

Snorts and Snores ~ When I told people that we wanted a Pug, some dog lovers told us that Pugs are great, but they have respiratory issues and it can be high maintenance and annoying. I had done my research and knew this was one of the biggest (and perhaps only) downside of having a Pug. We went into this Pug Life knowing all about the breathing concerns. What we had no idea about was just how much noise this little creature is capable of making. She is by far the loudest snorer I have ever heard. We had to move her out of our room at night because her snoring kept us awake. Plus she snorts and sneezes and makes other noises I’m not too sure how to describe. She has a habit of sneezing as a greeting, which is less than cute. But all her other snorts and sounds are so endearing. When she’s excited she gasps and snorts all at the same time. We always know where she is because of her sweet snorts. Needless to say, she sucks at hide and seek.

Purring ~ I’m convinced this little Pug is part cat. She sleeps A LOT and she purrs. Maybe it’s part of her snorts, but I swear this girl purrs when she is cuddled. If she’s laying down, snoring softly, and one of us comes to her and pets her, her snores get louder and mimic the purr of a cat. It’s so sweet. She’s using her snorts to tell us just how much she loves us. Now that’s personality.

Head Tilts ~ Pugs are known for their head tilts. If you key in “pug head tilts” on YouTube, dozens of videos come up. Pugs tilt their heads when they hear a word or command they know. Sophie is a pro head-tilter. She perks her ears and tilts her head when she hears Sophie, walk, or cheese. Cheese gets the mega head tilt, followed by a snort of excitement. Our little lady loves her cheese!

Tail ~ Pug tails are curled. Sophie’s tail is coiled into a perfect circle on the top of her back. When she’s super excited, she doesn’t wag her tail, she shakes her butt, which moves her curled tail across her back. It’s too cute. A few weeks into our new relationship with Sophie (who was adopted at age 2), we noticed that her tail would sometimes be straightened out. Usually her tail is so tightly coiled, it was odd to see it flattened out. Soon we figured out that Pugs straighten their tails when they are relaxed or asleep. When Sophie is chillin’ with us and feeling calm, her tail is totally uncurled. Then, if we say one of the key, head tilt worthy words, her tail instantly curls up again! This is an adorable Pug trait that shows just how bold their personality is. It is also another reason that I’m convinced Pugs have some cat in them.Sophie tongue

Tongue ~ So apparently Pugs tend to have their tongues sticking out quite a lot. I had no idea about this, but it is so insanely adorable. She mostly sticks out her tongue when she sleeps. Not sure if her tongue gets stuck in her teeth, or if it helps her breath better, or if she just knows how stinking cute it is, but often there is a sliver of pink protruding from her mostly black snout.

We love our Sophie the Pug. She is so full of life and love. Her personality is feisty, sweet, and unique. Her smoosh face is incredibly delightful (or incredibly ugly if you aren’t a Pug fan). We are so happy to have a Pug in our family. Sophie is Mia’s little sister. Mia is in love with all of her snorts, head tilts, noises, soft fur, and clever tail. We are in love with her charm. She has added so much to our lovely little family.

The humor in our home has reached new heights now that we have Sophie the Pug.

Sophie and Mia

One and Done on Facebook!

DSC_0264Team One and Done is now a page on Facebook!

Please visit and “like” the page.  New posts, humor, quotes, and a whole community for parents of an only child.

Also feel free to share your story with us! Add to the fun and find support.

You can also check out the “One and Done” page on this blog.

Hope to see you there!

One and Done ~ Spoiler Alert

It seems to be a strong cultural stereotype that an “only child” will be spoiled. Selfish, self-centered, insensitive, bratty, spoiled.

Some parents decide to have another child as a means to avoid the possibility of their kid turning into a brat.

Oh, if it were only this easy.

I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking that there are *plenty* of selfish, bratty, insensitive children all around us, and the vast majority of them happen to have siblings.

Having a sibling does not instantly make a child immune from the potential of being spoiled. And being an only child is not the only pre-requisite for being a brat. How these connections were made is the stuff of urban myths.

A One and Done Mom friend of mine has some concerns about her young son being a little more shy than his peers. She believes it comes from her personality, which tends to be more introverted. She remembers being slightly withdrawn and would observe a situation before engaging in any activity. She sees herself in him and is aware of his needs. Yet when she talks to her friends and family about him, they are quick to say “You have to give him a sibling or he will be isolated.” Or “If he’s an only, he won’t ever know how to make friends.” Wow, talk about not being supportive at all. It seems like this little boy has a soft, shy temperament that seems to be completely normal and healthy. Yet, because he’s not overly active or popular, he is labeled withdrawn and potentially selfish. How a sibling would change any of this, or instantly flip his personality, is beyond me. And what’s to change, really?

Our One and Done daughter, Mia, seems to be pretty well-adjusted in her 6th year of life. Our little girl has her annoying, self-centered moments, to be sure. All kids do. She has mastered the art of eye rolling. She is entering the apathetic, moody tween years way too quickly. Yet, this would be our Mia as an only child and also if we decided to have another child. In fact, the addition of a child would just exponentially increase the eye rolls, snarky tone, and sass. No thank you.

Sass aside, Mia is an incredibly sensitive, thoughtful, caring little girl. She shares easily, she is compassionate to her peers, and she makes friends easily. If there were any indication of insensitivity or a spoiled disposition, we have not seen it yet. And being that most of her personality is quite clear already, I think it’s safe to say she dodged that stereotype.

As for the incessant eye rolling? If anyone has a cure for that, please share. And we all know a sibling will never cure that, so don’t even bother suggesting it.

For more on all things One and Done, please visit our new Facebook Page ~ Team One and Done! Join the team!

Humor as a Super Power

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Seriously, humor is a super power. A well developed sense of humor can ease pain, shift a mood, distract a child, ease tension, improve sleep, make you  fun at parties … That is some crazy power.

Humor is helpful in all areas of life ~ parenting, career, family relationships, friendships, marriage/partnerships, politics, pets, while driving, and on and on. When well timed and appropriate, humor is so useful. This past political season would have been virtually unbearable if it weren’t for all the humor. Late night satire, mass Tweeting during the debates, endless memes … humor helped all of us pay attention to politics. And brought some much needed levity to some very serious issues.

Humor has really helped me in my relationship with myself. Through humor, I have let go of so many vices. My confidence has come through, I have built self-esteem, and I have let go of any uptightness (is this a word?) that has hindered me. I can laugh at myself. When a person attempts to make fun of me in a way to make me upset, it just doesn’t work anymore. I can agree with most of what a person would make fun of me about. I am very clear about my quirks and annoying habits. I own them. I laugh at them. I’m so over myself. Living a life where I can laugh at myself and be silly and open and light is sooo liberating. And fun.

Because of my lightness, my relationship with my husband has been full of laughter, silliness, sarcasm, and plain funness as well. Thankfully he has a very well developed sense of humor too. Please, it’s hard for me to spend any significant amount of time with anyone that takes themselves and life too seriously. So to marry an uptight man would just not happen with me. He had me laughing from the moment we met. Of course we’ve had our share of fights, yet one of us can always get the other to laugh. And then we are over the argument. We keep each other light and positive. Laughter eases the tension. Always.

Humor is self-care. It has major physical healing powers. Norman Cousins proved this many years ago. He had a very painful disease that prohibited him from sleeping well. He tried many ways to get some sleep, medical interventions, alternative therapies … yet he could not find relief. So he decided to watch funny movies and laugh. What he discovered was that when he had 20 minutes of a full-on belly laugh, the result was 2 hours of consistent, pain-free sleep. This was a miracle to him. Humor Therapy was born. Now many patients with serious illnesses are encouraged to experience the healing powers of humor.

Our little Mia already is developing a sharp sense of humor. She is silly, snarky, and funny when she isn’t intending to be. She has put pajama bottoms on her head and danced around the room making silly faces. She makes up songs on the spot about cookies, about princesses, about anything. With the addition of our Pug Sophie, the humor has amplified. Sophie snorts to communicate. We have translated all of her snorts. Mia and Sophie together are a hilarious pair. Mia will grow up knowing how to laugh at herself and the world around her. We could not ask for more.

I love to share my little Mia’s humorous adventures via Social Media and on this blog (as I am currently doing). My husband warns me that one day Mia will pay me back via her own Social Media rants about me. Perhaps I should be worried (Karma can be a b!tch, after all), yet honestly I’m looking forward to that day. She will make me even more proud if she can use humor to get back at me for all the times I shared her silliness. That would be awesome! And then we could banter back and forth on said social media, especially since I’m sure that will be the only way she will communicate with us when she’s a tween. And please, clearly I am not self-conscious at all (anymore, thanks again to humor), so I’d like to think there is nothing she can say or post that I’d be ashamed of (of course I say this now… ).

Humor has been so vital to my overall well-being, as a mother, a wife, a career-woman, and person. It has helped me survive some very difficult times. It has allowed me to enjoy life and all the silliness that comes with it. I am less tense, more open, more willing to enjoy the journey of life.

“If you do not get out of your shell, you are just a nut.” ~ Sadhguru Jaggi

More Humor ~

The #1 Parenting Tool: A Sense of Humor

On Being a Gen-X Parent

The Tooth Fairy: A Horror Story

My So-Called Gen-X Life

I am Woman, Hear Me Freak the F#&K Out!

Dear Food, We Need to Talk

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