TheBody.Com’s FB Cover Photo

TheBody.com recently posted this new cover photo on their Facebook profile page. My face is buried in the top left corner. How cool is that?!

I am super proud and honored to be part of this amazing community. I have been writing a blog for them for almost 2 years. It is such a rewarding experience. Through this blog, I have connected with amazing people within the HIV/AIDS community. It allows for a new forum of support and information sharing. As large as the HIV/AIDS community is, we feel a sense of intimacy and true connection through TheBody.com.

Writing As A Life-Saving Tool

Writing can be a life-affirming, powerful outlet for all things emotional. Some of us have difficulty saying how we feel. Writing, or any other form of creative expression, can assist in getting in touch with your soul. It can be an outlet for getting any negative energy out. It can help release the pressure and chaos swirling around in your brain and expunge them onto a piece of paper. Release. This is how it works for me.

For those who know me now, know I am loud, vivacious, always talking. I tend to be outgoing and always wanting to dive into a controversial discussion. Love to debate. Love to discuss various world views. Not afraid of a challenge. Okay, so this next statement may shock some people –  I wasn’t always like this. In fact, for those who have known me since I was younger know that I was nothing short of shy. The kid cowering in the corner, waiting to be seen? Yup, that was me.

One thing I always did was write. It was my outlet. I may not have been able to find the words to say out loud, but I could surely write them down. And write I did. About anything and everything. On any available piece of paper I could get my hands on — diaries, journals, note pads, in between taking notes during class, scraps of paper. I wrote random thoughts, poems, short stories … I even attempted a novel at age 13, but it didn’t quite blossom into anything more than a few random chapters that made sense to me at the time.

Writing was such a release and a source of power for me. I could write about whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and no one would know. These scattered sentences housed my own private world view. Writing has allowed me to find my voice. The words allowed me to explore things in new ways. They allowed me to explore myself in new and exciting ways. It is such an incredible feeling to magically connect words in ways that more accurately express my thoughts and feelings than my speaking voice ever could. Writing provided me with a sense of purpose and clarity in a world that seemed unreasonable and confusing.

Fast forward to the present day and I still write on a daily – if not hourly – basis. Now writing is even more of a source of release and control for me. I don’t feel complete or in control until I write my thoughts down. Seriously. I have about 2-3 journals going on right now and I fill each one up in about a month or so. I am currently working on about 31 blog post drafts. Taking notes at work is a must – in fact, I received an “Anal Retentive” Award at work for “taking endless notes at each meeting.” It was a proud moment for me. Countless lists, post-it notes, scraps of paper with my thoughts and feelings. If there were ever a spark in my home, we’d have a bonfire very quickly…. which reminds me, I need to reorganize and make sure my work is categorized safely in binders.

Writing has saved me. It can save you too, or at least help you feel a little less stressed. It’s an effective tool that can be used anytime, anywhere. Write down your dreams at 3am. Write down how aggravated you are after a grueling meeting. Write down how much you dislike a person. You can write these things down on a random scrap of paper and then rip it to shreds. The point isn’t always to keep a record, but to get the negative thoughts out of your mind. It can work just as well, if not better, as talking with a good friend.

Thoughts are powerful. Especially when you close your eyes to go to sleep, or need to concentrate on a specific task. By writing the thoughts down, you can take some of the power back. Stop the swimming swirl of chaotic thoughts that can overpower your mind. It’s a clear catharsis. A literal release of tension from your brain through your arm and hand, onto the paper. Incredibly powerful and liberating.

I have no idea where I would be without writing. Perhaps I would still be quiet and shy, without a clear voice. Holding in all of my opinions. I know a few people in my life who wouldn’t mind seeing me that way …

Addictions Recovery and Las Vegas, Perfect Together?!

Also published on Spread Hope: A Therapist’s Guide to Living and Laughing with HIV on TheBody.com

A revised version also published on BCCS Blog

Recently, I traveled to Las Vegas to attend the annual, national conference on the care and treatment of opioid addiction held by AATOD (American Association of the Treatment of Opioid Dependence). It was a huge gathering of some of the most important and influential addictions professionals, counselors, medical personnel, and other entities involved in the overall treatment of this population.

HIV/AIDS was woven into many of the presentations since a person is at risk of HIV infection with the use of opioids. There is the commonly known primary risk of direct HIV exposure from sharing needles with an HIV infected individual. Several national organizations presented materials on needle exchange and the overall prevention of the spread of HIV among intravenous opioid users. There are also the less understood secondary risk factors for exposure to HIV. These include any form of opioid use, additional substance and alcohol use, mental health issues, intimate partner violence, just to name a few.  AATOD hosted several workshops around Co-Occurring Disorders, which highlighted many of these challenges. Any person who uses any substances, has mental health issues, and/or is involved in a chaotic relationship is indirectly at a higher risk of exposure to HIV. Here are a few of the reasons why: such a person may be intoxicated and more likely to engage in high risk sexual behaviors; she may progress to the use of needles if she is chasing a better high; he may be experiencing a manic episode which may be fueled by higher risk sexual activities; she may not be able to negotiate condom use in her current relationship if there is a fear of abuse. In addition, those living with HIV/AIDS may be compromising the care and treatment of their disease if their opioid addiction is left untreated. All of this, and more, was discussed at this amazing and influential conference.

Okay, back to the location. Las Vegas. I know what you’re thinking… “How could you travel to Vegas and not invite me?” I know, I know. Next time.

You are probably also thinking… “Addictions conference? In Las Vegas? Really?” It’s okay, we got this response quite often. Even if a person wasn’t comfortable enough asking the question outright, I certainly could tell it is what they were thinking. The stares and pensive looks were enough. Yes, it is ironic, no doubt. To be surrounded by excess and clear addiction in many forms (substance use, gambling, shopping) while upstairs discussing these very topics was surreal indeed.

Yet, somehow it makes sense. Vegas is a vast land of extremes. Everything is exaggerated beyond all realistic representation. Gluttony and capitalism to the tenth power. Vegas represents (with casino credit, show girls, and glitter) what most people think and feel about addiction. Anyone is allowed to have a few wild nights, along with endless alcohol, drugs and sexual exploits, so long as “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Vegas is where denial was born and now thrives. Leave your secrets in the desert. No one will know.

Our culture views addiction in this exact way. Those who have the money and ability to live it up in Vegas and then immediately return to the status quo are the only ones allowed to use drugs and alcohol. Those who can’t handle the sweet seduction of all things Vegas are “bad, sick, damaged, wrong, and sinful.” It is their problem and they deserve all the consequences that go along with using drugs. They certainly do not deserve any help in any way. They brought this on themselves.

Being in AATOD within the Sin City demonstrated the clear divide between drug use and drug treatment in our culture. We welcome the use of substances, so long as a person can keep it to themselves and not bother anyone (or even be the life of the party). The moment it becomes a problem and a person seeks treatment, now this same person is undeserving of our help. It is a sad reality since drug and alcohol addiction is a disease. If our society viewed it more as the true disease that it is, and embraced the true care and treatment of this disease, there would be far less negative consequences of use.

Keynote speaker William White articulated this phenomenon powerfully. He stated, “We know addiction is a chronic disease, yet we continue to treat it like a broken arm.” Addiction is not about having a person stop using and be done. No, there needs to be a comprehensive approach to treatment that includes family involvement, addressing mental health issues, past history of trauma, HIV risk and treatment, intimate partner violence, housing, employment, finances, and many others. In many instances, a person may turn to drugs and alcohol as a reaction to a past (and/or current) traumatic situation. Substances can be very powerful coping mechanisms – just ask anyone walking on the Vegas Strip after a night of partying! When a person takes steps to reduce or eliminate the use of substances, the memories of abuse may come flooding back. These nightmares and real memories can be debilitating and terrorizing. The fear of the memories could be a reason why people do not “get clean” or why they tend to relapse. In instances like this, we cannot blame the person for being “weak” or “immoral” or “criminal”. This person needs further care and treatment to develop healthier coping skills to deal with the fear and pain. Yet, since our culture does not view substance use in this way, this person only gets a band-aid, not the full surgery he may need.

We have a lot of work to do. Our culture devalues those with an addiction of any sort. We frown upon anyone doing anything in excess … even in Vegas.

Yes, there is hope. This conference exemplified the hope and inspiration we all have and all need to improve how our society treats those with addictions. More awareness is being raised about this disease, especially with more and more people coming out with their struggles. People are beginning to realize that denial is not enough. Denial is not working, even in Vegas. It’s not so easy to just leave our worries on The Strip and pretend they don’t exist. We all need to face this disease, show compassion to those who are living with it, and treat it comprehensively.

Next year the AATOD conference will be held in Philadelphia. Okay, it may not be the most glamorous setting, but it may just be a little more real.

To read the piece on TheBody.com, please click here. To read the piece on BCCS Blog, please click here.

More Employee Enhancement

This is my latest installment of Employee Enhancement, published in our BCCS Staff Newsletter

Employee Enhancement – Improving the Lives of BCCS Employees, One Newsletter Column at a Time

Self – Care Strategies

This installment of Employee Enhancement will provide an overview of the importance of Self-Care and some strategies you can try. Often in the process of helping others, we may forget to take care of ourselves. It is a universal phenomenon in this helping profession. It is also one of the main reasons why there is such a high burnout and turnover rate throughout our field. Those helping professionals who know how to take care of themselves as they care for others are those who are happier and healthier in their professional lives.

This is often much easier said than done. We all are aware that we need to take breaks, enjoy hobbies, and get enough rest. Yet, think about it – how many times have you sacrificed some of these necessities in the name of getting your work done? We’ve all been there. And sometimes it’s incredibly important for you to work longer hours – especially if you are behind in your work, there is a customer crisis, or if there is a pending audit. These are the times where taking a break comes secondary.  The key is to find the balance and be able to determine your own self-care needs, while maintaining your professional accountability.

Here is a way to help you find the balance: on a slower day, start building a routine of caring for yourself. Refer to the list of ideas below. Incorporate them into your daily routine so they become a habit. This will assist you when a crisis arises, since you will feel calmer and better able to handle it. This will also assist in times of higher work load. You will be able to favor work tasks over self-care tasks since your overall emotional health will be stronger.

Think of it as running a marathon. Those who undertake this experience don’t wake up the morning of the big race and just run, without ever practicing. No, the opposite is true. Those who run marathons train for months, even years, to build their endurance and practice the skills. Then they are ready to undertake a huge race. The same is true for self-care. You need to practice on a daily basis to build your skills and to develop the stamina and tools necessary to be ready to deal with any crisis or time constraint that comes along.

We will be discussing Self-Care as part of trainings throughout the agency. Some of you have already received this training. I hope you are able to apply some of the principles. For those who have not yet received an in-depth overview of all things Self-Care, here is a brief list of tools you can begin to utilize. Try a few to see what works best for you. Have fun with it! And please share additional strategies with your team members so everyone can benefit from your ideas!

Humor

Laughing is such a vital tool in our profession. Share funny jokes and stories with your co-workers and instantly feel some stress relief.

Meditation

Focused, deep breathing relaxes your thoughts and, in turn, your body. We take for granted our need to breathe. Stopping to take a deep breath before handling a situation can help keep you focused. So take a deep, cleansing breath!

Journaling

Writing is a very effective tool to physically get any stressful thoughts out of your head. Any form of writing helps, whether in a journal or simply on a piece of paper.

Visualization

Close your eyes and form an image in your mind that is peaceful and stress free. You can even keep a picture of that image at your desk or in your wallet to look at in moments of stress. I know for me, one look at my daughter and all the stress melts away.

Exercise

Regular exercise is invaluable in stress relief. You don’t need to do anything strenuous; a simple walk can be effective. Yoga and stretching are also beneficial – take a moment to stretch at your desk or walk around the block. Some people take a smoke break – feel free to take a “fresh air break”!

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